Monday 15 September 2008

Are you also a Married Single Mother?

Since when is the care of one's children a one parent job? I just spent a weekend making pancakes for breakfast, going to the playground, lifeguarding, washing up, making lunch, changing nappies and spoon feeding my grumpy two year old, supervising homework, piano practice, doing laundry, serving hot chocolate and cooking dinners. My husband played tennis, had lunch with a friend, tinkered with his car, had tea at the neighbours... you get the picture.

As my profile says, I started an earlier blog called the Angry Working Mother. I have thought about this a lot, and even considered keeping both blogs going simultaneously, as, really, I bounce between being angry and happy. But overall I am happy, and willing to commit to this blog now because here I am, at my desk on a quiet Monday morning and with all love and respect to my children I am HAPPY to be here!

I made this last night for the kids - dinner in 4 minutes (if you have the right leftovers):

Healthy Pasta

I chopped up some cooked chicken, some cooked broccoli and grated some parmesan cheese. (Just use your best judgement and use portions your children normally would eat, plus about 1.5 tbsp of cheese per child). I heated a deep frying pan with a bit of olive oil, adding some leftover cooked pasta until it was warmed through. To that I added half a tub of creme fraiche (cream will do) - enough to generously coat the pasta. Heat through, then add all the chicken, broccoli and cheese and keep stirring until it's all hot. I added a 1/2 tsp of garlic salt too, but if you're a psycho-mum and avoid salt in all kids' food, that's fine too.

2 comments:

Kimberley said...

I am a happy working mother too but what makes me so so angry is how other women who choose not to work and I salute them for their choice, treat me like somehow my children are being abused because a nanny or God Forbid a daycare looks after them for a few hours a day; or that it is okay to ask how my children "cope" with me working? or make comments like " I don’t know how you do it, my children need me so much I could never work" or " I find that as children get older they need us around so much more - what are you going to do?" Also what makes me angry is that husbands come home after a day at work and truly relax whereas my day(after working) does not end until all the school stuff has been done, reading, spelling, homework completed, all the school letters and requests for sponsorships, volunteering, book purchases blah blah have been completed, all the household mail has been opened and dealt with, instructions for the weeks meals left, shopping lists created, daily cleaning requirements put in the diary, labels sewn onto all the clothes ( yes, I do my own ) stories have been read ( which I love doing by the way - its the rest I hate)............And most of all, what makes me truly angry is I love working and yes, I work and don’t actually need to work for money which does not mean I love my children less or that I am any less of a mother, so why am I made to feel that somehow I am neglecting my children by working?

The Happy Working Mother said...

I also don't agree that a working mother = a neglectful mother. Time spent with one's children can be very empty, especially if you are occupied with chores, interacting with other people, doing grocery shopping, or speaking on the phone. Simply accumulating hours in the presence of your kids doesn't mean you're being a better mother, and just being there in body is not enough. A good parent does active parenting and I think we'd be pleasantly surprised by how much time a working mother actively parents her children, and how little time a stay at home mother actually has to actively parent her children.